Thursday, June 30, 2011

you =(

disappointment? broken hearted? heart bleeding?
i experienced all of these too
stop that
" everyone is going to hurt you, you just need to find the ones worth suffering for " ?
i am going blame myself emo, sad and cry when i saw this
stressed out with all these
i am going to mad soon
thats why i'm keeping away from you today
i just need some time alone







you said you wont hurt me anymore
but
...


Wednesday, June 29, 2011

29-6-2011

confused..

homeworks
result
problems
teachers
feelings

nothing goes well
i just want the happy birdie back
but now
i just don't feel like want to smile
fuck my life

Monday, June 27, 2011

the memory

I have made a new folder tittle " People that I treasure the most "
This file is filled with all the pictures and memories of us
It make me moody when i review back all the pictures just now. idkw
i heart everyone of you






i smile?

Friday, June 24, 2011

24-6-2011

容忍是很辛苦的 我也有我的极限
你们就不能体量我吗?
我知道我也有错
但是
你们就不能留回一点尊严给我吗?
不要挑战我


Monday, June 20, 2011

20-6-2011

Had a talk today
the feeling is not the same anymore
you know why I'm sad
you just keep ignore it
although i miss the old good times
but
i just can't do anything
decision made
so that's it
i don't have the right to say the word regret
the only thing i can do to forget is
keep myself busy with homework and study
let the time settle everything

so this is me swallowing my pride standing infront of you, saying I'm sorry for that night.
".......sorry no cure"

Friday, June 17, 2011

happy post =)

okay. i need some happy cell with the help of some happy enzyme to stimulate me. i already emo for don't know how many days thinking bout the pass, the problem and the things happened. being requested to post something happy. and yea, there is something really make me happy. hanging out with two best friend at ecm yesterday. the rabbit and the moo. oh ya, and agung too! =D although it's super tiring but it's fun! next week is a week that full with anticipation and excitement. monday is miar birthday! thursday is agung birthday! friday is result day! o.O a lot of things come together. WOO. cant waiting for it. i will try no to emo =x haha.










friends forever ;)
i was smiling and telling myself that everything will be fine

17-6-2011

I love how we use to talk last time. laugh together. study together. crap together and even walk together. i miss your voice. your sound. but the joyful and happiness on you doesn't exist anymore. I miss the good times. now, we're just like stranger. i saw the notes. the FULLSTOP. you're hurting me. that's the end of our memory? i don't want. i don't want all these things to happen. i hope there is something i can do for you. I want our friendship to last forever. it's my fault i know. sorry sorry and sorry. there's nothing else i can say other than sorry. i thought you want me to be happy? my heart is bleeding now. ARGH! nothing goes right in my life recently. everything is in a mess now. i am trying to untie and solve all my problems but it seems getting more worst. i don't know what to do. i am tired. fed up. just hoping there's way to turn back everything but it seems no.





why?
why the ending is like this?
will everything change if i say yes from the beginning?






Thursday, June 16, 2011

16-6-2011

i had a nightmare yesterday
it's really scary

just imagine a person that are so closed to you suddenly turn up and become very abnormal and keep chasing and hunting for you. i am scared. i scared it happen again tonight. i want somebody there with me. tell me that all these things are unreal. or maybe this dream is some kind of message from god? idk. i just feel unsafe to be alone. maybe the things that bothering me all these while is turning into my dream. i dun wan it to happen in the real life. too many things happened today. i just cant accept it. sorry chu chu for the ignorance this morning. maybe i am still hanging around and thinking about the scary dream. luckily my lovely dad is inside my dream with me, if not i dunno what will happen to me. i just dunno what to do. i straight away think of you after i wake up. you appeared in my mind but i hope this is not the truth. i know everything and i rather i dunno it. it's really hurt when i saw it. i scared all these things will affect my study. so i choose to ignore. i need a long time to rest my mind and cool down myself. this is an unusual sign for me because this is the first time i had nightmare. i should talk bout it or just keep quiet? tell me what to do cause i am lost. idk. idc.



the tear just dropped silently when i think bout you.
actually i am still care bout you.
just that you dont know.


the words kinda hurted

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

15-6-2011

the minute you think of giving up, think of the reason why you held on so long




bird you can de

Monday, June 13, 2011

13-6-2011

actually the feeling now is really bad
you can see the friends around you are getting band 4 and happily enjoying there
but me?
still the same
band 3 and this is even terrible dropped 3 marks to 170
you keep asking me who are getting band 5
going to retake anot?
actually i feel sad you know?
it is difficult to tell out the feeling
you work so hard toward something but you din get the result you want
the big hug from the rabbit today really make me want to cry
i felt warm
thanks for the words
love you so much
as you said
it's already a fact
you already got the result
you cant change anything
so better focus on STPM

for the exam this time
i am quite satisfied
i got all pass
my chemistry
i used to fail everytime in the exam
but this time
i got 57
although it is still a B-
but i believe i can do it!
i want an A for STPM!
special thanks to the rabbit, pn phang, sir ryan, tingwei and ish for teaching me all the time when i dun understand <3
next is my maths
i got 51
actually it's quite terrible
because this time
the paper are quite easy compared to those exams last time
i need more hard work and effort on it
then is my biology
this time
my marks is sucks
i got 45 only
luckily passed
i admit i study too much chemistry and i din focus on bio
i hope i will do better next time
i haven got back my PA paper but i think i will pass the paper
cause i got 28 for pa3 an 26 for pa2
really hope so


life is really not easy
i have to survive for my future
sometimes
i really feel tired with all of the things that happened around me
sometimes
i choose to ignore everything and choose to be blind
i dunno what else can i do
the problems are still in my mind unsolved




something has come to an end and there's no way turning back, i will choose to ignore if things happen again because once repulsion force exist, there's no way two magnet can still together anymore-
放下一切 一心一意 用功求学 步向成功

Thursday, June 9, 2011

10-6-2011

monday
lots of things gonna happen on monday
i haven prepare for anything yet
the midterm result
the muet result
and
the...

i am okay?
i dont' know
hoping somebody will be there with me

说了再见才发现再也见不到

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

8-6-2011

DAY 5

the feeling still there
dont love too much because that too much can hurt you so much =(
sorry


bird emo

Monday, June 6, 2011

7-6-2011

what to do next?
when does all these things gonna be over?
thank you for guiding me all the way along
i know i have to make my own decision
it's quite hard
in my mind now, study is the most important thing.
my dream
my ambition
i dun want anything disturb me from achieving it

i dunno
confused again
i need time dear


monday..
i think everything will be done and settled on monday
i hope you got it

Sunday, June 5, 2011

6-6-2011

あなた価値がのために、すべてがですか?自分の愚かな感情の間に混乱しています。、今のところ、研究最も重要です。私は時間が必要だと思います。本当にごめんなさい

Saturday, June 4, 2011

4-6-2011

ちょうどあなたが私のためにすべてしたに気づいた。すべて速すぎてきた私は知らない感情のようなものを持っている理由私が実際にあなたを傷つける怖いいない場合、私深くお詫び申し上げます。しかし、私知らないなぜ私はまだカント過去忘れてしまう。あなたもに適しています。はもう言っ知らないすべてに感謝します。<3 はあなたを愛して

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

2-6-2011

前一分钟的我

在后巷徘徊
不知所措
欲哭无泪
很乱 很烦

这一分钟的我

尝试去想通
试着去解决
学着去长大
原来不容易
还是要面对

再给我一点时间
给我空间去
呼吸